Chances are you’ve had the experience of talking to a trusted friend or your spouse or partner about a problem you were having or a decision you were trying to make. Merely in the process of talking – perhaps hearing yourself out loud – the direction you needed to take became clear. Your friend didn’t even need to say a thing.
That’s a key part of how the coaching process helps. You get a degree of clarity just from talking it through out loud. Evolutionarily, it’s how we’re wired. Now imagine the person you’re talking to is specially trained and experienced. He (or she) knows how to be silent and when, knows how to reflect back to you what you are saying and how you are saying it, is skilled in asking you questions that let (sometimes that compel) you go deeper, knows how to help you clarify your options and sense the ones that have most energy for you, is skilled in challenging you when you need to be challenged, is full of specific acknowledgement, affirmation, and encouragement.
Imagine also that you don’t have to prove yourself to the person, you don’t have to fake anything, you don’t have to worry about losing their friendship or care and love; you can have a totally B.S.-free time with them from both sides – yours and theirs. They are there entirely for you.