how coaching helps

Chances are you’ve had the experience of talking to a trusted friend or your spouse or partner about a problem you were having or a decision you were trying to make. Merely in the process of talking – perhaps hearing yourself out loud – the direction you needed to take became clear. Your friend didn’t even need to say a thing.

That’s a key part of how the coaching process helps. You get a degree of clarity just from talking it through out loud. Evolutionarily, it’s how we’re wired. Now imagine the person you’re talking to is specially trained and experienced. He (or she) knows how to be silent and when, knows how to reflect back to you what you are saying and how you are saying it, is skilled in asking you questions that let (sometimes that compel) you go deeper, knows how to help you clarify your options and sense the ones that have most energy for you, is skilled in challenging you when you need to be challenged, is full of specific acknowledgement, affirmation, and encouragement.

Imagine also that you don’t have to prove yourself to the person, you don’t have to fake anything, you don’t have to worry about losing their friendship or care and love; you can have a totally B.S.-free time with them from both sides – yours and theirs. They are there entirely for you.

  • Pattern interruption. The structure and support within the professional coaching relationship serves to interrupt the unconscious patterns of behavior‚ creating an opportunity to stop the business as usual, consciously look at what is happening and perhaps choose differently.
  • Conscious goal commitment. What you focus on expands. If you make a conscious commitment to move forward with a goal or intention, you’ve immediately increased your chances of realizing that goal or intention.
  • Coaching helps you to define what you want and how you’re going to get there. Once defined, coaching keeps you moving forward toward the realization of that goal or intention.
  • Chunk down the big goals. An ongoing coaching relationship helps you define and take the first step towards that big goal‚ effectively moving out of inertia. You start to think in terms of, “What can I do today to help me move towards my goal?” Your coach is there to keep you on track all the way to the realization of your goal.
  • Making a commitment to your coach increases the consciousness that is brought to that commitment. It is no longer simply something you want to do, but something you have committed to doing. Big difference.
  • Real-time feedback. The ongoing conversation and action plan allow for immediate feedback. New ideas or concerns can be quickly addressed and appropriate changes adopted to keep the momentum going.
  • Questions and answers are at the heart of coaching. Thought and action are inspired through the process of inquiry . . . what do you want?, what stands in your way?, and, how are your going to get there?